As an aspiring pilot, there is nothing better than having an existing aviator in the family. Some are fanatical and claim to have it in their veins. These are the ones who talk to their machines, look up at every passing flight, and relish the scent of AVGAS. For me, that person is my mom.
Growing up with this exposure helped to foster my love for flying. Together we would work through our flight training programs. Discussing, debating, and dreaming of all thing's aviation daily. There is a passion that took root within me as a result. "Once the bug bites, there is no known antidote."
I remember the early days when we would plan flights together and take turns as one another's copilot. Supporting each other through the exams and experiences of learning to fly. It would be foolish to assume all the experiences were good ones. Not even close. There were many flights where one or both of us were well outside of our comfort zones. But the fact that we knew we weren't alone made all the difference.
Some of the things we faced included alternator belts snapping mid-flight. Blown out batteries in the middle of nowhere. Pushing the limits of dusk as we ferried people out of the bush, squeezing every bit of light out of the day. Fortunately, these stories all ended well.
However, I'm led to believe that when events don't end well, we learn the most. The events that become ingrained in our minds. Memories that linger longer. The trick is learning how to frame these negative memories into positive lessons.
My mom was the first of us to go through one of these trials. A routine scenic flight around George on a perfect day. Things got away from her when coming into land, and she could not recover. The result was a prop strike on landing. I'll never forget how distraught she was. Mom can be frantic at the best of times, but this was different. At the time I couldn't quite comprehend what she was dealing with. But I remember trying to console her.
Paraphrase from an old surfing saying, “There are two types of surfers, those who pee in their suit, and those who say they don't” My adapted aviation phrase goes like this: “There are two types of pilots. Those who have crashed, and those who are yet to crash”.
Barely believing my own words, I remember thinking that if It were my mistake, the words would have helped. Almost a decade later, I would have the chance to find out. I hate to admit it, but I have now moved from being an exception to a part of the rule.
A few months ago, I had to put an aircraft down on a dirt road resulting in a prop strike of my own. Only after experiencing it for myself, do I have a better idea of what she must have felt all those years ago. Guilt, shame, embarrassment, fear, relief, and confusion to name a few. Finally, the old faithful PTSD to make sure you relive the experience on repeat for weeks on end. Rumination or reinforced learning? Either way, it's impossible to forget. It's also not spoken about enough.
In a world where it seems taboo to have an incident on your record, I can't help thinking that it's more common than not. As a young aviator, it's easy to fall into the complacency trap thinking you're bulletproof.
Invulnerability. One of the five hazardous attitudes. Talking about these experiences more often could help others avoid the same misfortune. More so, discussing the challenges resulting from the accident or incident. Interestingly, the lesson for me wasn't the incident itself, it was more the mental side of things. Suppressing my emotions was the natural thing to do. Until it became too much to bear. Having a near-death experience and walking away is not something you can ignore.
Fortunately, I had my co-pilot (Mom), who forced me to seek professional help. Seeing a shrink was only the start. But what I learnt was how to deal with and process the trauma. The key is to speak about it often with whoever will listen. The sooner the better. This psychological technique helps to process and release the experience. A tool that applies to all areas of life.
If there's one thing, I wanted to share today it's this: If you ever find yourself on the wrong end of a scary scenario, remember that you are not alone. The best thing you can do is to talk. Share your experience with others, even anonymously. Accept that what happened is in the past. It couldn't have gone any other way. You did the best you could at the time with the resources you had. Now after the fact, you are no longer the same person. You now have a real experience to learn from. Lessons to incorporate into your life as you move forward.
